Yes, women are stronger than us. They face more directly the problems that confront them, and for that reason they are much more spectacular to talk about. I don’t know why I am more interested in women, because I don’t go to any psychiatrists, and I don’t want to know why.
My mom would put on John Denver. He had a song that went, “Life is so good / my life is so good these days / life is so good these days / my life is so good.” It made me unbelievably angry as a child. I don’t know, I was like… Excuse me, sir, where is your existential angst? I don’t buy it. You’re full of shit, John Denver. Rest in peace.
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You’ll be mad, but it will be too late.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.